There are times in one’s life when the mood to versify strikes, when the urge to string words together into sentences that may or may not mean something is too strong to overcome. Then one may wish to write poetry to unlock the emotions within that are clamoring for release and expression.
During these times, only one form of poetry will do – bad haiku.
Haiku is, simply, a form of Japanese non-rhymed poetry, with seventeen syllables 5-7-5 – five in the first line, seven in the second, five in the third. In Japanese there are many strict rules that govern the construction of haiku, but in English, anything goes.
Bad is – well, bad. Not good at all. Verging on the horrible, skating perilously close to awful, at times crossing the line to gross and disgusting.
I will rule the world!
But how? I don’t have a plan.
I’ll go back to sleep.
Jam between my toes –
It’s not for eating? Says who?
You’re right – it’s stale. Ptoo!
Where are we going?
And why have you put me in
This large handbasket?
Anyone can write bad haiku! They probably shouldn’t, but they could. That is the beauty and the Zen of bad haiku.
Come, why don’t you try?
You too, can write bad haiku.
It’s not rocket science.