life in general

POP GOES THE WORLD  By Jenny Ortuoste for Manila Standard-Today,  26 January 2012, Thursday

Have You Hugged Your Kids Today?

Last Saturday was an interesting time for our family as we went to support our youngest in her first cheerdance ever.

Erika is a high school freshman at Colegio de Santa Rosa-Makati, and she’d been waiting for this moment since she was in elementary school. My eldest, Alexandra, who graduated from the same school several years ago, was as intense about the annual experience as her sister.

Apparently it’s a big deal to kids nowadays, this cheerdance thing. It pits year levels (“batches”) against each other in about ten to fifteen minutes of competition, featuring new cheers authored by the batch incorporated into dance routines that blend jazz/funk/modern dance styles with gymnastics. The batch that has dancers and gymnasts has an edge in the competition.

We didn’t have this during our time, so I asked my kids, “It’s an event that brings batches together in unity and camaraderie while honing skills in friendly competition against the students of other years to build school spirit and sisterhood, right?”

They looked at each other and frowned at me. “No, Mama. Cheerdance is war.”

CSR Freshmen do their routine in the 2011 Cheerdance Competition. The dancers are in front, the pep squad in the back. An iPhone 4S image.

At CSR-Makati, elementary students perform simple dance/exercise routines called “field demonstrations”. The children wear costumes and dance to music in line with a theme for that year. Last year, when Ik was in sixth grade, they swung to 70s and 80s music while dressed in bellbottom jeans and platform shoes and let me tell you, the parents were dancing along with their daughters on the CSR field. It was that fun.

But field demos are for babies. Cheerdance is a whole ‘nother level, and it’s only for the high school. Students in each batch join one of three groups, according to skill and inclination – dancers, pep squad, and propsmen.

The “props” take care of physical requirements such as banners, boxes covered with glitter, cardboard motorbikes, and other accessories that the batch requires in its routine.

The pep squad comprises most of the students in a batch and they are backup dancers. The dancers are the stars of the show, and are chosen via auditions held by the choreographer hired for that year.

Yes, these competitions are serious enough to require the services of professional dance and cheerdance choreographers, who are often members of cheerdance squads in universities and colleges.

Each high school batch at CSR comes out on the field dressed in the colors assigned to that year level – freshmen green, sophomores yellow, juniors red, seniors blue. The propsmen and pep squad members wear jogging pants and batch t-shirts specially designed and printed for the occasion, often with the batch name. The dancers wear more elaborate costumes in keeping with the chosen theme or music. The parents and connections come wearing shirts in the colors of their daughters’ year levels.

 Cheerdance Competition 2012 at Colegio de Sta. Rosa-Makati. The batches assemble on the field to await the results of the contest. An iPhone 4S image.

Because it’s a contest, watching a cheerdance is more suspenseful and tense than watching a field demo. Parents crowd to be in the front, or stake out seats on the second floor of the school building and set up camera tripods. There’s play-by-play commentary from bystanders, more often than not school alumni who come to support their younger sisters, who have been preparing for this day through rigorous daily practice over a couple of months, and by watching videos of performances of previous years.

Originality of choreography, cheers, and costume; level of difficulty; energy level; and number of lifts, human pyramids, and tumbling runs are among the criteria used to judge the winners. Because they are older and bigger, first and second place usually go to either the juniors or seniors. This is something accepted by the freshmen and sophomores; they’re content with just not coming in last.

This year’s cheerdance winner at CSR turned out to be the Juniors, who rocked an exotic Bollywood theme with the dancers dressed in “Princess Jasmine”-inspired bodices and sheer headdresses. Their advantage was that they had a former UP Pep Squad member as their coach.

The University of the Philippines Varsity Pep Squad is perhaps the most famous university cheerdance group today. They have won seven UAAP (University Athletic Association of the Philippines) Cheerdance Competitions, the most recent in 2007, 2008, 2010, and 2011. The UP Pep Squad led Team Philippines in the 6^th Cheerleading Worlds held last November 2011 in Hongkong, placing third in the Cheer Mixed category.

UP Pep Squad winning the 2011 UAAP Cheerdance. Image here.

Cheerdance combines the athleticism of gymnastics with the aesthetics of dance, and it’s also an enjoyable exercise for teaching the values of teamwork and harmony. I hope other schools that don’t have this yet will consider it for their students. Government and non-government organizations could look into this for their youth programs. What better way for kids to spend the afternoon than tumbling with each other in the grass, rather than being stuck indoors playing video games?

This entire cheerdance thing also reminds me of a couple of things. The first – a bumper sticker that my former father-in-law, a veterinarian and racehorse trainer, used to have on his old car – “Have you hugged your horse today?”

The second – the way my father showed his affection for my sister and me. When he’d come home in the late afternoon, he’d greet us by planting sniff-kisses on our heads and saying, “Olor del sol!” And off we’d go for our evening baths.

Our children are special. Let them know. Gather them in the circle of your arms right now, kiss them on the top of their heads that smell like our tropical sun, and share the warmth of your love for and pride in them.

* * * * *

The National Youth Commission announced the opening of applications to the 9^th Parliament of Youth Leaders.

The parliament, which was started in 1996, gathers young people from around the country to brainstorm policy recommendations for youth issues. The recommendations are sent to government leaders to be considered as proposed bills and administrative policies.

This year’s theme is “Revolutionizing Youth Development”. The event hopes to expose young people to how political and organizational procedures and mechanisms may be used to effect positive changes in society.

Scheduled for the first week of May 2012, the parliament is expected to have over 200 youth leaders 15-30 years old as participants. Learn about the qualifications and download application forms at www.nyc.gov.ph or email nyp9@nyc.gov.ph. The deadline for applications is February 29.

* * * * *

The Carlos Palanca Foundation is accepting entries to its Carlos Palanca Memorial Awards for Literature from February 1 to April 30. Contest rules and forms will soon be released at its website, www.palancaawards.com.ph.  * * *

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The Nine West One-Stop Shopper is a roomy tote that’s simply styled, but looks interesting enough because of the quilted pattern on the bag and the attached wristlet.

This one’s made in China of nylon/synthetic materials. “Night Iron” must be the color. Care must be taken when setting the bag down because the bottom is lined with a thin black material that is not as thick as the quilted material that makes up the bag’s body.

The handles are long enough for shoulder carry. They are not adjustable. Attached to one handle is what Filipinos call a palawit, a bit of decoration that hangs from something else. This one is a metal circle stamped with the brand name.

The wristlet is attached to a strap on the inside of the bag with a carabiner, so it can be detached.

A simple metal plaque underneath the inner zippered pocket carries the brand name and date of establishment.

The interior is surprisingly roomy, with lots of compartments. In addition to the zippered inner pocket attached to the lining, there’s a zippered pocket divider and two open pockets for cellphones/PDAs.

The Nine West One-Stop Shopper can be crammed with a lot of things. A lot.

Despite the bag’s being stuffed to bursting, it remains closed thanks to the long clasps.

Since I travel with the kitchen sink, my favorite bags are large totes that can be opened wide. This particular handbag fulfills my criteria for the ideal daily bag – stylish, open, roomy, and has long handles, and pockets for organization.

There are several Nine West branches in Manila – the ones I am most familiar with are at the Powerplant Mall and Glorietta-Ayala Center, both in Makati City.

All photos taken with an iPhone 4S.

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Sorrow and bereavement touched our extended family this weekend.

For comfort, I burrow into this friendship quilt that I made eleven years ago, some time before the events occurred that culminated in the past couple of days’ sadness.

The quilt is queen-size, draped now on my new double bed made from an old twin-size bed of Canadian pine.

The old bed, almost fifteen years old, was widened from 36 inches to 54 fore and aft over the weekend by a master furniture craftsman using sixty-year old tanguile (lauan) wood left over from when the racehorse stables beneath our little apartment were destroyed.

It is a reused and recycled bed. The quilt is recycled too, made with scraps of fabric left over from other projects. Both are made with organic materials – wood, cotton – and time – years and years of time.

Quilts, like furniture, are built artifacts.They are constructed. Each element is cut with allowances to permit joining; careful attention is given to shapes, patterns, and the way they are put together.

Sometimes mistakes are made in cutting the quilt squares or the wood for a bed leg or post. Adjustments must then be made – a tuck in the sashing here, an additional inch of wood glued on there.

Life is like a quilt, or a crafted bed. We build our lives by hand, with materials organic to our individual journey – tears, laughter, sweat, mistakes, sorrow, joy. We reuse and recycle experiences and feelings. We make decisions that may be right or wrong. We learn from them; sometimes we do not.

For a quilt, the finishing touch is the tag at the back. On it are written the name of the quilt, the date it was finished, and other information that the quiltmaker wishes future owners of the quilt to know. It tells the history of the quilt and the maker.

I had not used this particular quilt in years. The words on the tag brought back memories of the way things used to be, and how I have moved on from that place in that time to where I am now.

This weekend’s sadness stems from events that occurred mere months after I finished this quilt.

The quilt was done long ago.

The bed was done this afternoon.

The story begun in sorrow eleven years ago ends now, also in sorrow.

Let it be done. Let the lessons be learned. Let life go on. Let years roll by that will cover over the heartache and allow the moving on.

I burrow under the quilt and hope that happiness returns soon.

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POP GOES THE WORLD  By Jenny Ortuoste for Manila Standard-Today,  12 January 2012, Thursday

A Slogan By Any Other Name

People are having fun with “It’s More Fun in the Philippines”!

But not necessarily the good clean kind, okay. Have you seen the user-generated photo on the Internet of a blonde-bewigged Madame Auring (who must be in her mid-60s at least), stuffed in a leopard-print swimsuit overflowing with her ample breasts, with the text, “Growing old – more fun in the Philippines?”

Fortune teller to the stars and now B-list celeb Madam Auring. Image here.

It’s only one of the many fan-made photos created in the week following the Department of Tourism’s launch of its new campaign, “It’s More Fun in the Philippines”.

Print and online columnists and commenters immediately weighed in with their thoughts. Most of the arguments go like this: let’s be positive rather than negative, let’s be united and show support, the slogans are easy to remember and pronounce, and flexible enough to be used in a variety of ways (for); and it’s boring, vague, unnecessary, and plagiarized (against).

I was monitoring the Internet the day of the launch and saw the onslaught of comments; the initial pattern of public attitudes toward the slogans; and the actual shift to a “majority” stand, all within half a day online. The public perception was later reflected in the evening news and the next day in the newspapers.

Twitter, because of its immediacy, was the first to “cover” the event, and comments both for and against emerged here first. Most people were underwhelmed by the phrases, “It’s More Fun in the Philippines” (international campaign) and “#1For Fun” (domestic).

A lot of what first went around was sarcastic. But then, that’s what happens when the slogans are phrased in such a way as to lend themselves to all kinds of interpretation.

Image here.

As for the accusation that the current DOT slogan was lifted from a 1951 Swiss campaign for suntanning – “It’s more fun in Switzerland!” – I think we can safely say that it was a coincidence. But then, that’s the problem when the phrase is so common and banal! It was a certainty that it had already been used somewhere, sometime, in that context.

DOT Secretary Ramon R. Jimenez Jr. has defended the campaign created for them by award-winning advertising agency BBDO by saying that they weren’t looking to be creative, but to tell the truth about the country and simply describe it because it really is “more fun” here.   But given the wealth of creative genius that this country boasts, couldn’t we have come up with something more original and interesting, or at least something less lame?

I liked the old DOT campaign better – “Wow Philippines”. (By the way, it was also created by BBDO, as was the older “More than the usual” campaign). It conveyed interest and excitement in one short word -”wow” – without making unsupportable or subjective claims such as “more”, that open the claim to unmerciless mockery, which the phrase has been subjected to.

Image here.

Perhaps if it were worded “It’s fun in the Philippines”, it would have been less likely to be made fun of.

However, compared to the “Pilipinas Kay Ganda” fiasco of November 2010, this new one is an improvement. The fact that #itsmorefuninthephilippines is trending worldwide shows we are working with this and, yes, having more fun with it.

But is it going to do its job, meaning, is the slogan going to attract more tourists? The DOT should have a survey form for foreigners that they can fill out on the inbound planes – “What influenced you to visit the Philippines?” No fair claiming any increase in tourist arrivals to the slogan without accurate monitoring with a survey instrument constructed with the proper methodology!

What struck me most about the entire phenomenon was that anyone can always come up with pros and cons for any topic. It’s social construction, meaning that many aspects of our daily experience are accepted as a result of agreement among members of society. In this manner social reality is created.

I saw this occur in real time – a people constructing their social reality through computer-media communication via social media. For a communication scholar such as myself, it was intellectually orgasmic. Phd dissertation topic, anyone?

At first, perception toward the new DOT slogan was skewed toward the negative – people were making fun of the slogan. Then, influential Tweeters, bloggers, and celebs chimed in urging support for the campaign.

Later, some of the “pros” went further and berated the “cons” for being too negative and, worse, unpatriotic! Suddenly the tide turned – negative comments are now interpreted as “bashing”, masyadong nega, hindi maka-Pilipino. Even the mockery is more gentle than it was at the start; it’s somehow toned down. It’s as if a sort of bullying took place.

Image here.

Why do some ideas spread so fast and embed so strongly, like a virus? Why are some ideas accepted and others not? Writer and researcher Malcolm Gladwell might have an explanation for this in his book “The Tipping Point” (2000).

There are three types of influential persons who have rare and particular social gifts, he says, upon whose involvement “the success of any kind of social epidemic is heavily dependent”: the “connectors” are people who “link us up with the world”, who have social networks of over a hundred people; the “mavens” are “information specialists, people we rely on to connect us with new information;” and “salesmen”, the persuaders who have charisma plus powerful negotiation skills, and who tend to have “an indefinable trait that goes beyong what they say, which makes others want to agree with them.”

Once these people jump on one side of an idea or the other, they bring about the “tipping point”, the “moment of critical mass, the threshold, the boiling point.” Then, others who are less influential or undecided tip that way. Then an idea becomes the dominant ideology.

For now, people are having fun with “It’s More Fun in the Philippines”. Let’s hope it brings in the visitors and their much-needed moolah.

But we have to remember that it’s not all about slogans, which are just a bunch of words strung together. The slogans need to be backed up by a genuine product – a safe and tourist-friendly Philippines, where people can truly have more fun. ***

Malcolm Gladwell portrait here.

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POP GOES THE WORLD  By Jenny Ortuoste for Manila Standard-Today,  5 January 2012, Thursday

Learning Lessons

How was your new year celebration? I hope none of you lost any fingers/were burned or injured/choked on firecracker smoke last New Year’s Eve. Despite all the warnings by the Department of Health on firecracker safety, there were still 739 revelry-related injuries listed as of Tuesday, with at least two deaths- a 9-year-old boy in Cabanatuan City and a months-old infant.

Not to mention the diverted/cancelled airplane flights because of the “smog” over the city that reduced visibility. Great, we’re about the only country that can create air pollution from excessive firecracker use. I bet they could see the smog cloud from space. Astronauts: “Hey, I can’t see the Philippines. They must be having a party!”

Firecracker smog over Manila on New Year’s Day 2012. Image here. 

While I see how letting off fireworks and lighting sparklers and Roman candles can be fun – it’s a tradition that goes back decades, and there’s that satisfaction obtained by the pyromaniac in all of us – it’s still a risky activity and expensive as well. Exploding fireworks is like burning money. Might as well have made a bonfire of all those peso bills.

Here’s one deterrent, or at least a warning to play safe – a story my former brother-in-law, a physician, used to tell us every holiday season. Back when he was a medical student at the University of the Philippines and pulled New Year’s Eve duty at the Philippine General Hospital, they never used anesthesia when stitching up wounds and debriding burns. “Para madala sila,” he said. Did it work? He shrugged. “We’d still have a lot of patients each year. No one really learns their lesson.”

Here’s another lesson we haven’t learned – how to take care of the environment. The flash flood in Cagayan de Oro and Iligan was a freak accident caused, in part, by the lack of watersheds. How had their forest cover, which used to spread over 35,000 hectares two decades ago, shrunk to 2,000? Illegal logging played a nasty part in that, among other things.

One of the last significant things I did in 2011 was tag along on a December 28 trip to Iligan and Cagayan de Oro with a team from a government aid agency. There we visited government hospitals and evacuation centers, and saw for ourselves just how much misery and devastation the incident wrought.

A wake for a perished Sendong victim is held at an evacuation center in Macasandig, Cagayan de Oro City. 28 Dec 2011

Despite the rebuilding going on, mud still covered the streets of many residential areas, especially the hardest hit barangays. Entire subdivisions looked like ghost towns – mud had mounded as high as the bottom sills of windows, with what look like seaweed improbably twined around metal window panes. The glass in the panes had, of course, shattered during the height of the storm.

Weeds strangle windows; mud covers floors to knee-height. 28 Dec 2011, Iligan City.

Stories abound. A woman clung to a post for a total of seven hours before the floods subsided. A child drifted by, borne on the water, and grabbed her, a safe harbor. Two hours into their ordeal, continuously buffeted by the elements, the child said, in a voice of infinite weariness, “Pagod na ako. Bibitaw nalang ako.” “Huwag, mamamatay ka!” screamed the woman, and clung tighter to the child. (They both lived.)

Humor is a feature of some stories, a typical coping mechanism of a people often battered by tragedy. People sat on their roofs, “kinakabayo”, a survivor said, clinging on to the V of the roof triangle for their lives. Occasionally other people would drift by and grasp whatever solid structure they could. One such man asked for permission from the homeowners perched on the roof. “Pare, pasensiya na. Pwedeng dito muna ako?” The homeowners laughed through their tears and hauled him up to the safer perch beside them. Another man who owned no cars saw a vehicle washed up in his garage the day after Sendong. “Pare!” he told a neighbor in high excitement. “May kotse na ako!”

An element of the supernatural tinges other narratives. One woman in a home relatively undamaged by the storm was unnerved when, the day after, around twenty children dressed in white pounded on her window begging to be let in. She turned to ask her husband what to do. When she turned back a few seconds later, all the children were gone.

Cagayan de Oro and Iligan will never forget Sendong and the horror and heartache it dealt. Now the residents of those areas are asking, what brought this about? Apart from the illegal logging, there’s also climate change; the typhoon belt is said to have moved from its regular path, affecting Northern Mindanao, a location that used to be untouched by monsoons.

Outside Gregorio Lluch Memorial Hospital in Iligan, a man studies lists of admitted flood victims and posters of missing persons. Most of the missing are children. Posters often list several children, all from one family. 28 Dec 2011.

Other residents claim that Cagayan de Oro’s mayor, a man called “the laziest mayor” by another paper for his frequent absence from city board meetings, is also culpable, his neglect having led to a lack of preparation for emergencies and subsequent poor response.

There are other whispers, of how a thousand or more Maranaws were brought to the area to vote for that politico, and being allowed to reside on the riverbank. Their ramshackle homes resting on an unstable foundation, these were among the first to be swept away when the river flooded its banks.

Youths dig into mud in Iligan, salvaging scrap metal after Sendong. 28 Dec 2011

Someone obviously didn’t learn the lesson about putting personal agenda aside in order to industriously and honorably fulfill duties as an elected public servant. And who are those somebodies who operate as illegal loggers? Those who don’t understand how climate change is already affecting our country in the most drastic ways? Those who still do not believe it is important to care for the environment?

Ten days after Sendong, a residential street in Cagayan is still almost impassable. 28 Dec 2011 

My New Year’s wish is simple – for people to learn their lessons and apply them to their daily lives, at home and work. When we stop living in ignorance and willful disregard of others and the world we live in, only then can we develop our potential.

But while selfishness, intellectual blindness, and sheer hard-headedness prevail in our culture, we’ll remain mired in the mud that Sendong brought down from the hills. And we’ll still have hundreds of people crammed into hospital emergency rooms on January 1.

Happy New Year, by the way.  ***

Phtos 2-6 were taken with an iPhone 4S. In addition, photos 3, 5, and 6 were taken from the window of a moving vehicle.

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Anyone who’s followed this blog knows how much I love Starbucks. I’ve posted countless times about its coffee, drinks, merchandise (tumblers, mugs, planners, etc.), and locations in the different countries I visit. I have an entire blog category for “Starbucks” alone.

That is, I used to love Starbucks. Until one fateful day last December…

(flashback)

I’ve always saved up stickers for the annual Starbucks planner since they first came out in the Philippines. One year I manage to drink and treat others to enough coffee to amass five planners. I average three per year. The first always goes to my best friend, the second is for myself, and the third is for giving away. This year, I’d already redeeemed two and was working on the third.

Now this is my third planner redemption card. I bought two non-holiday drinks at Starbucks Glorietta One or Rockwell, I forget now which branch. By mistake the barista put it on the back, on “Option 2″ (all non-holiday drinks). I said I preferred the stickers on the front – “Option 1″ (less drinks to buy). He apologized and said the stickers would still be honored anyway, and would be applied by any other branch to my Option 1.

A couple of weeks later , I bought a non-holiday drink at the Starbucks at Harbour Square, Cultural Center of the Philippines complex. Again they put the sticker for my brewed coffee on the back. They cancelled it while we discussed what to do.

Exhibit A. Option 2 stickers, with the one issued by Harbour Square cancelled.

So far so good.

Then I noticed that I nearly had enough stickers on the front to redeem another planner! I asked if I could apply the two non-holiday drinks to the remaining drinks requirement.

I was told that one of the stickers would be applied to the one remaining core drink requirement on the front. The sticker that they (Harbour Square) issued and cancelled, they placed on a new card.

The third sticker would be wasted, unless I went back to the branch that issued it and ask for a new sticker to be reissued. Having forgotten which branch it was I got it from, I asked Harbour Square they could re-consider and place another sticker on the new card they had just given me, because I was assured by that other barista that all stickers would be honored. It was clear anyway from the sticker that I had purchased a drink. But no, the person from Harbour Square said “It’s a different branch.”

(back to the present)

Not a big deal? Heck, yeah, it is. Where is the customer delight in this? I bought those drinks fair and square with my hard-earned money. Still, because of a mix-up that was no fault of mine and that could have easily been fixed by that particular Starbucks manager, I lost one sticker. I feel robbed. I feel disappointed. I feel let down by a company that I have championed for years.

In fact, I am so upset that I am boycotting Starbucks from now on. I now make it my mission to find good, if not better, coffee elsewhere. I will advocate other kinds of coffee and coffeeshops, preferably Filipino, and that’s what I should have done more of long ago.

Because it’s now a giant chain, Starbucks has the most branches of any coffee shop, and that’s their advantage – they’re everywhere. It will be difficult to find other coffee shops in the places I frequent.

Difficult – but not impossible. Highland arabica, as I’ve had it in Baguio City, is particularly tasty and never bitter. The best cup I’ve ever had in my life was a cup of barako – Philippine liberica – at a thoroughbred ranch in Batangas, liberally splashed with fresh goat milk from imported goats that the ranch owner raised along with his race horses.

Coffee at the BenCab museum in Tuba, Benguet, a few minutes away from Baguio City proper. Not only is this sort of coffee (Benguet arabica) more delicious than the brewed coffee at Starbucks, its served in such a way as to delight the senses, with brown sugar and milk in a wee jug.  (December 2011)

Yeah, Starbucks Philippines. You lost me because of one. lousy. sticker. Happy New Year.

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POP GOES THE WORLD  By Jenny Ortuoste for Manila Standard-Today,  29 December 2011, Thursday

The Care and Feeding of Introverts

You most likely have friends and family members who are usually found in a corner, amusing themselves with a book or headphones, preferring not to mingle with others in raucous banter or other social activity. It might take a lot of prodding before they join in. Often, they resist coercion and show resentment. You might have thought it was something they would outgrow. “Mahiyain,” you might have said. Or “loner”, or “aloof”.

Or, you might think the worst – “hindi siya marunong makisama,” perhaps one of the worst offenses in our collective culture.

Quite likely, those people are none of the things you thought. Like me, they just happen to be introverts.

What is introversion? It is not shyness nor aloofness. It is not social discomfort but social preference. Introverts prefer to be around a few people; being among a crowd drains them. They prefer living in their own inner world, exploring their feelings and thoughts. They’re the readers on the park bench or in the coffee shop.

Extroverts, on the other hand, enjoy being around people. They’re the ones who chat you up on the plane or in a queue. You can tell if a Filipino taxi driver is one or the other. The quiet ones who don’t say a word the whole trip? Introverts. The ones who start gabbing the moment you step in their cab and regale you with their views on politics, showbiz, and religion, who sometimes just won’t shut up? Extroverts.

Image here.

Introverts are said to be between 25-40% of the general population, and to make up the majority – around 60% – of the gifted population. Many creative people I know are introverts; it might be something about being in tune with an inner world that nurtures and ferments the creativity that comes from within. They’re the innovators, thinkers, and doers – Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawking, Mother Teresa, Gandhi.

Studies with twins show that extraversion/introversion may have a genetic component. It’s wired in the brain. Therefore do not try to turn an introvert into an extro – it can’t happen. An introvert may develop good social skills, but his innate preference will remain the same.

When I was much younger I used to go along and let myself be coerced into joining this presentation or attending that party, but I’d seethe with anger and resentment all throughout. I endured this all for the sake of pakikisama.

A friend, once the CEO of a large company who now runs his own business, possessed of decades of management experience, nodded wisely. “Pakikisama bullying,” he calls it. Now I realize pakikisama became a cultural norm because the majority of people in society are extroverts, and getting along and interacting well with others constituted a survival trait.

As I matured I began to understand myself better, and learned to flat out refuse if I didn’t want to do anything. Being forced to do something you don’t want to do results in psychological discomfort. Why endure that?

If you have an introvert in your life – spouse, lover, offspring, other relative, friend – be understanding. Know that not everyone is like you. Allow your introvert “alone” time. He or she doesn’t mean to ignore you, nor does it mean she doesn’t love you – she just needs her personal space and time to connect with that inner world, from which she draws her energy.

Reading at Hill Station Cafe, Baguio City, 30 Nov 2011. No, I”m not ignoring you. Yes, of course I love  you. I’m just low-batt and need to recharge.  

Don’t force your introvert to attend big parties. Arrange small, intimate get-togethers instead. Lunch with three or four people is nice, and maybe coffee after in a small, quiet place where they play jazz at a low volume so you can still hear each other talk. Introverts like to discuss ideas and feelings. Sometimes the constructs in their heads seem more real than what’s outside.

Above all, do not force your introvert to dance, sing, or perform if she does not want to. I used to work in a small industry where I’d emcee or event-manage parties. I wasn’t there as a guest but as staff, so that was “work”. I’d be “on” during those times, like an appliance. Since I wasn’t there to  “party”, I could manage the crowd.

But I moved to a large company in a different sector last year. Both Christmases I’ve been there, I was asked to dance with officemates for the office presentation. I refused. Never force an introvert to do anything they don’t want to; I can’t emphasize this enough. They’ll hate you forever if you do, especially if you do it under the guise of pakikisama.

According to the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator, there are even different kinds of introverts. I’m the INTP (Introverted-INtutuitive-Thinking-Perceptive) kind, said to be only 2-4% of the population.

INTPs, also called “Architects” or “Engineers” use “intuition to interact with the world…processing information logically and abstractly,” says an online profile. Think Star Trek’s Spock. Capable of deep concentration, INTPs “analyze new ideas till they understand every aspect. Starting with only a vague intuition, an INTP can construct a whole new world of ideas.”

In fact, INTPs are better at designing a complex system than implementing it. We’re the people who can design a plan, and a backup plan, and a backup to the backup plan. Implement it? That’s for you to do, man. Don’t bother me, I’m reading.

Basically, yeah, this is how an INTP rolls. Image here.

A friend who’s an INTJ (the “J” stands for the “Judging”) is like me in many ways, but the “J” function means he makes decisions faster than I can. In Los Angeles a couple years ago, he asked, “Would you rather we go to the Getty Museum now, or have lunch first?” INTPs can argue from all sides. I proceeded to do so. Half an hour later, while I was still weighing the merits of doing either activity first, he was pulling into the parking lot of the Getty. He knew I was dithering, and, being a “J”, made the decision.

My two daughters and ex-husband, are, like myself, “Ps”. When we go out, it takes us a while to decide where to eat. This place has sushi, but the other has the great mashed potatoes…and so on, and on. Finally, one of us, our tummies rumbling, will say, “None of us are Js!” and make a choice.

Much of human communication involves “anxiety reduction” – trying to learn more about the other person to reduce your anxiety about how to interact with him. Knowing a person’s MBTI type helps by giving you a general idea of what a person might be like, and how he might behave in a certain situation. This gives you a certain predictive power that could be useful; more so, say, than knowing their zodiac sign. There are online tests that you can take to find out your MBTI type.

But being aware of something as simple and basic as intro- and extroversion will help you go a long way towards understanding people.

Remember, this new year, be kind and gentle to the introverts in your life, and may 2012 bring us only bigger and brighter blessings!

Now go away. I’m reading. *** 

Einstein drawing bee here. Not only was he an introvert, he was an INTP.  INTP poster here. 

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You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere.

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. - Buddha

Photo taken at Namaste, Baguio City, Dec 2011.

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This is perhaps the best Christmas gift ever – my eldest daughter Alexandra Ma. Alcasid gets published for the first time on 26 December 2011!

Her piece, “Ponies and Bronies”, appeared in the “Everyman” column of the English-language daily broadsheet Manila Standard-Today. It’s on page 4, part of the Opinion spread.

Alex’s piece explores the “brony” phenomenon – why adolescent and young men adult men have become the unexpected fanbase of the remake of the ’80s “My Little Pony” cartoon series.

Here’s an excerpt:

The Philippine Bronies group on Facebook is very active, with around 277 members and still growing. Asking around, I learned of quite a few reasons why the male members were attracted to such a colorful cartoon aimed at little girls.

At the core of it are the characters. The show’s first season starts with Twilight Sparkle, an introverted unicorn who has trouble making friends. She is sent to Ponyville in an attempt to make friends. While there, she meets the pegasi Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, the unicorn Rarity, and the Earth ponies Applejack and Pinkie Pie. These six ponies are the center of the show and it is through their antics and adventures that Twilight Sparkle, and the viewer, learns a valuable lesson about friendship.

Mis hijas: Erika and Alexandra Alcasid, 24 Apr 2011, Makati City.

Alex is a gamer, K-pop fan, and fiction writer – watch for her forthcoming YA novel, The Agency. Here’s a taste. In this scene, Vash introduces the protagonist, Lilah, to the members of the band “Hell’s Garden”:

“This is Pride.” Vash gestured to the girl, who smiled pleasantly back at him and Lilah. “She’s the leader of the group, and coincidentally the shortest. She may look carefree, but she’s the most responsible. Also, Pride is the lead singer. Makes sense seeing as how the lead singer is always the center of attention in a music group. Next is Wrath.”

Wrath was the most oddly dressed of the group, wearing a long sleeve white jacket that covered the neck, and it had short belts strapped along the arms and the whole thing was reminiscent of a strait jacket. Wrath also wore black cargo pants and high top sneakers, and a biker mask that covered the nose and mouth. Wrath glared at the opposite wall so intensely, Lilah thought it might catch fire.

“Wrath is the drummer of the group. Her jacket and mask are symbolic of rage held at bay to the raw emotion that is released to the beat of the drums.” Vash explained.

“Wait wait…’Her’? Wrath is a girl?” Lilah looked to Vash, then back to Wrath, and was taken aback as her eyes met Wrath’s. Her eyes were cold and her expression was of pure anger. Lilah shrank back but Pride just put a hand on Wrath’s shoulder. “Your eyes. Softer…Softer…” she said, and Wrath shifted her expression. “Okay, that’s good.” Pride let go and tapped Wrath on the top of her head. Wrath now wore a blank expression which was, to Lilah, much better.

I’m a proud mom – can you tell?

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