decoding the new iPad ad

“iPad is thin. iPad is beautiful.” – It went to Doctora Belo for liposuction and Fanny Serrano for a makeover.
“iPad goes anywhere and lasts all day.” – It’s also super-absorbent for those heavy days.
“It’s magical.” – It reads palms and Tarot cards.
“It’s 200,000 apps and counting.” - Except Flash-based.
“All the world’s websites in your hands.” – Except those using Flash.
“It’s already a revolution – and it’s only just begun.” – It’s forming a shadow cabinet to take over the world.

It’s a great invention, and kudos to Steve Jobs and the entire Apple family for creating yet another must-have gadget that you’ll hock your soul to acquire. Assuming you haven’t already for the iPhone.

Er, Mr. Jobs, some questions, though – No Flash? No printing support?  No USB port? No laying it flat because of that wonky curved back? No webcam for chat, though it has a mic? No, you don’t want me to go on?

“No” is not a word we want associated with the iPad or anything Apple. The beauty of their products in terms of design and tech are unparalleled. That’s why the iPad’s lack of certain features that many users have found necessary for a complete experience is such a letdown. That’ll open the way for Google and other non-Apple companies to learn from these mistakes and come from behind with something more affordable that’ll fill up the iPad’s gaps.

Zachary Quintooooo….! Huh? Yeah, yeah, that’s an iPad. Zaaaccchhh….!

But we believe in you, Apple! We have faith that the next-gen iPad will be crafted with the stunning yet elegant, simple yet haute-fashionable design you’re famous for, and distract us from noticing that you still haven’t put in support for a mouse.

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8 Comments on decoding the new iPad ad

  1. Jay Ignacio
    13 May 2010 at 9:36 am (2990 days ago)

    I have high hopes for the next-gen iPad. I’m sure everyone’s comments/reviews will be considered and a lot of improvements will be made. And, yes, give it a USB port, dammit!

  2. TAO
    13 May 2010 at 12:40 pm (2990 days ago)

    Oooh, snarky!!

    To quote someone I know “teehee”.

  3. Jenny
    14 May 2010 at 6:17 am (2989 days ago)

    TAO – “Snark” is my middle name. Well, it’s really “Rebecca”, but I have it on good authority that my parents wanted “Snark” but were dissuaded by friends who told them I’d grow up traumatized, weird, and with an evil sense of humor.

    Jay – here’s hoping the next-gen iPad will be THE ONE. :)

  4. Chito Limson
    24 May 2010 at 9:53 am (2979 days ago)

    While waiting for the next gen iPad, seems Adobe has jumped the gun and pledged support to HTML5, the internet video platform that runs natively on the iPad. Nothing spurs capitulation like success — a million iPads sold must weigh heavily on Adobe’s business plans. Flash must be feeling betrayed now… glad there’s psychoanalysis for offspring.

    So video conundrum is solved; USB is next (but what USB? Version 3 is in the offing and the iPad wouldn’t be caught dead with the last decade’s fashion).

  5. Jenny
    24 May 2010 at 10:08 am (2979 days ago)

    Chito, nothing spells ‘success’ like huge sales and Apple is acknowledged the leader in the field of personal computing products. It’s interesting to see the leverage being brought into play among the computing corporate giants and how, based on their own agendas, they are shaping the future for us consumers.

  6. Bea
    8 July 2010 at 7:15 am (2934 days ago)

    For what it’s supposed to do, I suppose I’ll just get the Kindle.

2Pingbacks & Trackbacks on decoding the new iPad ad

  1. [...] out Jenny O’s blog for her commentary on the new [...]

  2. [...] can do more things on an iPad, such as surf the Web and use a wide variety of “apps” (applications) that allow you to do most [...]

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